Grandparenting

Boys

Posted on by Joy / 3 Comments

I know girls. I raised three of them into strong independent women. As they grew up I was involved with their friends, through school, birthday parties, dance, drama, basketball, soccer, hockey. You name it, I was there. Watching girls be girls. 

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I am pleasantly baffled by boys. Perhaps I shouldn’t be, having grown up with three brothers. But when you’re a child you take everything in stride. It’s not the same as being an adult, observing and caring for them. 

The Cowboy and I just spent 10 days looking after Little Man, Bright, and Sunny. Three very busy little boys. Every day spent with them was a new wonder. Intriguing. Bewildering. Enchanting. Exhausting.

I don’t know, are all boys enthralled with potty humour? Even the two-year-olds erupt in laughter as their five-year-old brother shifts his hips to the left and lets out a howling “toot”. 

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Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.

Plato

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The novel I am writing is told from the perspective of a five-year-old girl. As I write from her viewpoint I need to be aware of how much language she carries. So, one of my goals this visit was to closely observe Little Man’s language and the way he processes life.

Surprise, surprise! What I discovered was that Little Man speaks like a five-year-old boy. His language includes a lot of grunts and sound effects and other noises that make him giggle with glee.

I don’t remember this being true of little girls. They giggle about other things.

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A boy is a magical creature. You can lock him out of your workshop, but you can’t lock him out of your heart.

Allan Beck

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So this new phenomenon is an education, and I’m enjoying every minute of it.

Grandparenting little boys is like experiencing the sun and the wind, the rain and the sasquatch all coming out on the same day. It is a dazzling torrential delight.

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The best thing I saw all week (besides the faces of my grandchildren) was … These Canada Geese walking across an almost thawed ditch. The ice creaked and squelched and squerumped beneath them as they gingerly took step after cautious step.

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Favourites

Hello, Friend

Posted on by Joy / 5 Comments


What a difference a friend makes!

Earlier this week, 5-year-old Little Man face-timed to show me the gap where his two bottom teeth belong. They’d actually been wiggly and loose for close to a month! But he’d refused to let anyone touch them. Then, he was play-fighting with his best buddy when both teeth got knocked out. One was found. One wasn’t. We will leave it to the tooth fairy to decide what to do about THAT!   



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A friend is a gift you give yourself.

Robert Louis Stevenson

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Recently, the Cowboy and I were on holiday where we met new friends, from England, who introduced us to teatime. 

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

Of course, we know the English love their tea, but my goodness, I had no idea how enchanting the ritual of teatime could be. 

I have never been a big fan of tea, but I am now on a quest to learn all things tea. Stay tuned as I continue this adventure. 

Hmm … maybe I’m trying too hard?

And, if by some miracle of cyber magic, Lin & Dave, Kate & Russ are reading this, let me say again how much we enjoyed your company. Part of the reason our holiday was so enjoyable is because of the dinner companions we looked forward to every evening.

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Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

Helen Keller

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The deepest of friendships call for the deepest kind of sharing, in good times and in bad. My little cache of treasured friends, who have walked with me through deep and muddy waters, who are there to pray when I have no prayers left, who by their very presence bring life back to my soul … those friends who turn up when life is not pretty, bring a rare beauty to the world.

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What a difference a friend makes. Old friends, new friends, treasured friends. I hope you have a few.

And, if you’ve found me, here in this big virtual world of overwhelming words, I hope you know … you’ve found a friend.

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The best thing I heard all week went something like this:

3-year-old to her Daddy: Daddy, when I grow up I will be an astronaut.

Daddy: Honey, if you want to be an astronaut you will have to go to college, study hard, get a job, and stay physically fit.

3-year-old: That’s just four things.

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay 

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Life is so Daily/Uncategorized

Free Afternoon

Posted on by Joy / 0 Comment

I find myself with an unexpectedly free afternoon.

But then I start wondering, is it really and truly free?

Because, all the things.

There are always so many chores on the list that could be filling this time. But, who ever thinks, I have a free afternoon! I can finally clean out the fridge. Yippee!!

That might be the responsible decision, but would it be wise?

Wisdom and responsibility.  Two entirely different things.

We spent a recent evening with a lovely young couple whom we have known for many years. In fact, we knew the young man as a child.

But, something about that evening made me feel … beyond my youth.

As I’ve mulled this over since, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because this boy we knew has become a responsible husband, dad, and businessman. His son will soon be driving! They have navigated their twenties and are forging fearlessly through their thirties.

Being responsible.

Making good decisions.

Becoming pillars of our society.

They are ready for the baton to be passed to them. In fact, I think it already has. My generation can breathe a sigh of relief.

They are well on their way to wisdom too. And wisdom doesn’t just happen. It is something to be sought. It is learning from life experiences. It is a conscious thing. A choice.

Those people well into their life experience, whom we admire for their wisdom, are people who consciously sought and learned it along the way. That’s not to say that every octogenarian is full of wisdom. Some people only learn enough from life experience to become wily. Wisdom isn’t even on the spectrum for them.

So where does that leave this fifty-something grandma of five? Perhaps somewhere near the realm of wisdom, with the option of being responsible.

Because, you and I both know … that fridge isn’t getting cleaned today.

photo by Pixabay
Favourites

I Used To … But Now

Posted on by Joy / 8 Comments

There is something about getting older that is so freeing. It’s not that I think I have “arrived”, but there is a quiet confidence and contentment that comes from having lived this long, and in looking back and realizing that many things have been accomplished. It’s like looking back down the trail of a mountain you’ve been climbing, seeing the winding rocky path zigzag down and out of sight, and thinking … “Wow, I’ve come a long way! I did this!”

It’s worth celebrating.

Today I came across some lines I wrote in my 40’s. Some of them might still be true, but most I’d amend to reflect how I’ve grown into my 50’s. For example, the first line I used to be playful but now I’m grown up I would amend to say, I used to be playful but then I grew up, and now I am goofy with my grandchildren. Sometimes in life, things come full circle.

Here’s where I stood in my 40’s, with the amendments of my 50’s tacked on:

 

I used to be playful but then I grew up, and now I am goofy with my grandchildren

I used to observe but then I spilled, and now I observe to serve

I used to be a child but then I wished for childhood, and now I enter childhood on a whim

I used to have a good memory but then I was happy, and now I keep the joy

I used to live in my imagination but then I couldn’t always get there, and now I go when I want

I used to obey my mother but then I asked why, and now I think for myself

I used to think I was better but then I knew I was not, and now I have compassion

I used to read to my brothers but then I read to myself, and now I read for myself

I used to dream but then I wished, and now I see what could be

I used to be afraid but then I knew, and now I go anyway

I used to wonder but then I searched, and now I choose what to know

I used to shun beans but then I ate them, and now I choose not to have them

I used to think she’d kill me but then I knew it was me, and now I’m strong

I used to not be good enough but then I thought I was, and now I know I always have been

I used to hesitate but then I waited, and now I listen first

I used to tell but then I asked, and now I listen to hear

I used to feel but then I let myself feel, and now I know where feeling will take me 

I used to giggle but then I laughed, and now I burst into unladylike guffaws

I used to be optimistic but then I didn’t know, and now I trust

I used to have opinions but then I stated them, and now I don’t have to

I used to be in charge but then I lead, and now I walk alongside 

I used to hate meal clean-up but then I liked my kitchen, and now it’s just part of me

I used to crave knowledge but then I acquired discovery, and now I pray for wonder 

 

I still have quite a bit of mountain left to climb, but looking back on the trail I’ve already trekked, I am heartened. I can do this. Bring it on!

 

Photo by Pixabay

 

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