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I Used To … But Now

Posted on by Joy / 8 Comments

There is something about getting older that is so freeing. It’s not that I think I have “arrived”, but there is a quiet confidence and contentment that comes from having lived this long, and in looking back and realizing that many things have been accomplished. It’s like looking back down the trail of a mountain you’ve been climbing, seeing the winding rocky path zigzag down and out of sight, and thinking … “Wow, I’ve come a long way! I did this!”

It’s worth celebrating.

Today I came across some lines I wrote in my 40’s. Some of them might still be true, but most I’d amend to reflect how I’ve grown into my 50’s. For example, the first line I used to be playful but now I’m grown up I would amend to say, I used to be playful but then I grew up, and now I am goofy with my grandchildren. Sometimes in life, things come full circle.

Here’s where I stood in my 40’s, with the amendments of my 50’s tacked on:

 

I used to be playful but then I grew up, and now I am goofy with my grandchildren

I used to observe but then I spilled, and now I observe to serve

I used to be a child but then I wished for childhood, and now I enter childhood on a whim

I used to have a good memory but then I was happy, and now I keep the joy

I used to live in my imagination but then I couldn’t always get there, and now I go when I want

I used to obey my mother but then I asked why, and now I think for myself

I used to think I was better but then I knew I was not, and now I have compassion

I used to read to my brothers but then I read to myself, and now I read for myself

I used to dream but then I wished, and now I see what could be

I used to be afraid but then I knew, and now I go anyway

I used to wonder but then I searched, and now I choose what to know

I used to shun beans but then I ate them, and now I choose not to have them

I used to think she’d kill me but then I knew it was me, and now I’m strong

I used to not be good enough but then I thought I was, and now I know I always have been

I used to hesitate but then I waited, and now I listen first

I used to tell but then I asked, and now I listen to hear

I used to feel but then I let myself feel, and now I know where feeling will take me 

I used to giggle but then I laughed, and now I burst into unladylike guffaws

I used to be optimistic but then I didn’t know, and now I trust

I used to have opinions but then I stated them, and now I don’t have to

I used to be in charge but then I lead, and now I walk alongside 

I used to hate meal clean-up but then I liked my kitchen, and now it’s just part of me

I used to crave knowledge but then I acquired discovery, and now I pray for wonder 

 

I still have quite a bit of mountain left to climb, but looking back on the trail I’ve already trekked, I am heartened. I can do this. Bring it on!

 

Photo by Pixabay

 

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Guests

Guest Post – Easter Weekend

Posted on by Joy / 1 Comment

My guest this Easter Weekend is a new voice in the blogging world. Her words ring with truth, hope, and gentle authority. Please welcome Jenna from Authentically His.

 

Easter has always been my favorite time of year. It’s the underlying promise it holds, that makes it by far the greatest time of year.  Since I was a little girl I could feel the earth vibrating with this expectant promise. You can feel it in the air.

HOPE.

It holds a joy that can. not. be. contained. HE HAS RISEN!! He has risen indeed.

But before that glorious third day ….

Promise.

Expectation.

Heartache

Love

The love of a Father SO great, that he sent his son to die for me. For you. We hear that often. It’s easy to become conditioned to the Bible stories we grew up hearing. To regurgitate truth and not take the time to stop, slow down, and remember.

Our Jesus, sent to earth because he loves YOU much. Choosing to go to the cross, to bear the weight of our sin, so we could LIVE. So we could walk with him and intimately experience his presence. So we could LOVE him freely, and walk in the freedom he offers us. Our Jesus, suffering a death more painful than we could imagine, so we could have beauty. So we could walk through life knowing confidently WHOSE we are and WHO we are.  This is Promise.  This is Expectation.

Jesus, a man much like your husband, your brother, your friend. Except he was God’s son, so distressed “his sweat like drops of blood fell to the ground” (Luke 22:43), prayed for his cup to be taken. Yet amidst his anguish and pain, submitted to the will of his Father.  This is Heartache.

O’ the Blood of Jesus,

O’ the Blood of Jesus,

O’ the Blood of Jesus,

it washes white as snow.

 

There is forgiveness in the blood of Jesus,

There is healing in the blood of Jesus,

There is power in the blood of Jesus,

it washes white as snow.

Love.

A love so pure, it can’t be contained. A love so strong death couldn’t hold it. A love that sets the captives free and covers the sinner in forgiveness. O’ the blood of Jesus, O’ the love of Jesus. Do you know it? Have you claimed it … for you?

We are never so broken that Jesus can’t heal us, and we are never so healed that we don’t need Jesus every moment of every day. He has promised to go before and behind us. To be the lifter of our head.

Stand firm, dear one, and KNOW He rescued you because he delighted in you (2 Sam 22:20).

It doesn’t make life easy by any means, but O’ the Blood of Jesus, carrying us through the seasons of pain and hurt. The seasons of drifting and wilderness wanderings. He never leaves us on our own. His love covers us and holds us tight when we can’t see anything but darkness.

In a world overrun by social media. Where your feeds are full of perfect people in their perfect homes with their perfect jobs and their perfect bodies. Where insecurity will claim you and comparison will choke you. Where the enemy will whisper ‘you will never be good enough’ —  O’ the blood of Jesus.

In that marriage that, to the outside world is full of smiles and banter, but in reality is hanging on by a thread and you don’t know if you can move forward another day —  O’ the blood of Jesus.

When your house is a disaster, and you’ve yelled at the kids for the umpteenth time in the last hour. When you feel like you’re failing as a mom, a homemaker, a wife — O’ the blood of Jesus.

In addiction, and brokenness, when you feel too far gone to be worth saving —  O’ the blood of Jesus.

You are covered in his promise. We can live in hopeful expectation, because our God is good and he works all things together for good, according to those who love him. We can’t avoid heartache. We live in a fallen world, full of pain and hurt. But once you experience the love of God, you are never the same.

The love of God changes you, instantly, from the inside out. You are fully accepted, approved of and wanted. Once you let his love find you, once you choose to accept it and let it wash over you, the world and all its glitter fades in comparison to the treasure you now hold.

This love causes your heart to naturally turn towards its true intended subject of worship. And when it does, all the other details of your life fall into alignment. Life issues and wilderness seasons don’t disappear, but their impact is so much less life altering because you. are. loved.

Everything He does, He does because He LOVES MUCH. Let us slow down enough, this weekend, to be reminded of that love. To sit at his feet and let him wash us in his presence. To not just be a spectator, but a participator in this thing called life and CHOOSE to be loved.

O’ the Blood of Jesus, O’ the Blood of Jesus, O’the Blood of Jesus, it washes white as snow.

So “be strong and courageous…the LORD your God will be the one who keeps on walking with you—he won’t leave you or abandon you” Deut. 31:6 (ISV)

“And remember, I am with you each and every day until the end of the age” Matt 28:20 (ISV)

Life is so Daily

Faithful

Posted on by Joy / 2 Comments

God is faithful. (1 Corinthians 1:9)

 

I’ve heard it said that a person’s perception of God is based on the example their father set for them. I don’t know if that’s 100 percent true, but I do know that for me, the example my father modeled made it easier to believe in the faithfulness of God.

 

My Dad was an impeccable model of faithfulness for me. And I don’t mean just his faithfulness to Mom, though that is huge.

If he said he would be there, he was.

If he said he would do something, he did it.

Trusting him was never a problem for me.

 

My childhood understanding of my heavenly Father grew out of my impression of my earthly father.

 

Faithfulness does not turn one way and then the other.

Faithfulness is not indecisive. It is not wishy-washy.

Faithfulness follows through on promises, no matter what.

 

As I look ahead to 2018, I can put any unease, apprehension, or anxiety aside, because God is faithful.

He does not turn one way and then the other.

He is not indecisive or wishy-washy.

He follows through on promises, no matter what.

 

Here are just a few of His promises:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)

 

And I will lead the blind by a way they do not know,

In paths they do not know I will guide them.

I will make darkness into light before them,

And rugged places into plains.

These are the things I will do,

And I will not leave them undone. (Isaiah 42:16)

 

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope.

Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.

And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

 

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with Me. (Revelation 3:20)

 

Yesterday, today, tomorrow, God is faithful.

Always.

2018 will not be too much for Him. And if it becomes too much for me, I know I can count on the bedrock of His faithfulness.

 

Thanks, Dad.

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Christmas

The Gift

Posted on by Joy / 4 Comments

I wrote this poem for Christmas last year. I share it with you again this Christmas season with the prayer that your hearts will truly know the reason for the season, and that that head-and-heart knowledge will bring you peace through the year to come.

Merry Christmas!

 

THE GIFT

God creating

Ages passing

Mankind struggling, warring, hoping

Prophets warning

Darkness sinking

Painful steps and slow

***

Father reaching

Gabriel bidding

Mary trembling, trying, trusting

Joseph reeling

Angel speaking

Mary, did you know

***

Livestock lulling

Dung heap reeking

Manger waiting, holding, cradling

Mary nuzzling

Joseph shielding

Royal beauty bright

***

Shepherds minding

Night sky bursting

Angels swelling, praising, lauding

Outcasts scouring

Baby drawing

To Thy perfect light

***

Heavens glowing

New star charming

Magi tracking, chasing, seeking

Herod killing

Mothers wailing

Forms are bending low

***

Baby growing

Manchild teaching

Jesus living, leading, loving

Students wond’ring

Masses crowding

Rest unto your souls

***

Saviour dying

Soldiers gaming

Mary weeping, wond’ring, watching

Father leaving

Satan roaring

Silent stars go by

***

Gospel spreading

Ages passing

Man rejecting, struggling, praying

Rulers vying

Angels battling

Still we see Thee lie

***

Shoppers jostling

Cashiers cringing

Devil scheming, cheating, lying

Santas jingling

Trickster duping

Making spirits bright

***

Father reaching

Jesus bidding

Spirit moving, sealing, guiding

Angels fighting

Mankind’s hurting

Met in Thee tonight

***

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